Reggae

Since I have arrived in the Caribbean, I have heard almost exclusively Reggae music. Tonight at Quitos, I was dancing and feeling light and breezy when a line from one of the songs hit me over the head like a ton of bricks. It may come across as simple happy music for potheads, but the lyrics of reggae are quite profound. They are rarely silly love songs, but have messages that can literally alter the way you think. The line that affected me so strongly was from the song, “So Much Things”,

“ Don’t forget who you are and where you stand in the struggle.”

 

Wow. Those are words to live by. You can apply this philosophy to all of your struggles, from daily efforts to life’s greatest catastrophes.”

 

Most people know that Reggae came out of Jamaica and was inspired by the struggles and beauty that comes out of their island lifestyle. I find the lyrics apply to all of humanity. It is often about prejudice due to their slavery history, but injustice is a universal experience. While addressing the discrimination, the music remarkably inspires dignity. There are classics, like, “Get up, Stand up. Stand up for your rights” by Bob Marley. 

Not contrary to this message of empowerment, sometimes the music is about finding the joy that is to be had. The rastas believe heaven is here on earth and don’t wait to enjoy your life.  These are happy tunes that remind you how sweet life can be – like in the song, “Three little birds”.

Don’t worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singing: don’t worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this morning,

Smiled with the rising sun,

Three little birds

Pitch by my doorstep

Singing sweet songs

Of melodies pure and true,

Saying, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)

 

A significant meaning of reggae music is about uniting all of mankind. It’s difficult to not feel the infectious hope while listening to One Foundation or One Love by Bob Marley.

Got to build our love on one foundation.

 

There will never be - no love at all;

There will never be no love at all.

 

Got to put aside the segregation

Got to put aside the organization;

Got to put aside the denomination.

There will - there will never be no love at all;

 

Or the great Redemption song that speaks of true empowerment of yourself over others:

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds.

Have no fear for atomic energy,

cause none of them can stop the time.

How long shall they kill our prophets,

While we stand aside and look?

Some say its just a part of it:

Weve got to fulfil de book

 

Bob Marley was indeed a prophet, but there are other great reggae musicians with a powerful message, like Jimmy Cliff. The soundtrack to The Harder they Come is one of the greatest soundtracks of all time. Every song is a classic and takes you on a journey. A song that has helped me when I feel lost on my way and tempted, but gives me the courage to keep going and doing the right thing is: Many Rivers to Cross.

Many rivers to cross

But I can't seem to find my way over

Wandering I am lost

As I travel along the white cliffs of dover

 

Many rivers to cross

And it's only my will that keeps me alive

I've been licked, washed up for years

And I merely survive because of my pride

 

And this loneliness won't leave me alone

It's such a drag to be on your own

My woman left me and she didn't say why

Well, I guess I'll have to cry

 

Many rivers to cross

But just where to begin I'm playing for time

There have been times I find myself

Thinking of committing some dreadful crime

 

Yes, I've got many rivers to cross

But I can't seem to find my way over

Wandering, I am lost

As I travel along the white cliffs of Dover

Yes, I've got many rivers to cross

And I merely survive because of my will...

There are so many great reggae songs, I could go on and still leave out an essential one. I decided to end (it’s late!) on the song that encourages me to be a better person. Thinking about it and listening it to it now to transcribe it, makes me feel like it is so much more than a song. It is a lesson on how to live.  Its called Pass it On.

What your hands do,

It's your own eyes that've seen.

So won't you judge your actions

To make sure the results are clean?

 

It's your own conscience

That is gonna remind you

That it's your heart and nobody else's

That is gonna judge.

 

Be not selfish in your doings:

Pass it on. (Pass it on, children)

Help your brothers (help them) in their needs:

Pass it on.

 

Live for yourself and you will live in vain;

Live for others, you will live again.

 

In the kingdom of Jah,

Man shall reign.

Pass it on;

Pass it on;

Pass it on;

Pass it on.

 

What's in the darkness

Must be revealed to light.

We're not here to judge what's good from bad

But to do the things that are right.

 

On a hot, sunny day,

Follow the shadows for rescue.

But as the day grows old,

I know the sun is gonna find you.

 

Be not selfish in your doings:

Pass it on.

Help your brothers in their needs:

Pass it on.

 

Live for yourself, you will live in vain;

Live for others, you will live again. 

Full Moon Party at the Bomba Shack

Every Full moon in Tortola, there is a huge party at the Bomba Shack. The shack itself is only about 500 square feet made of driftwood, but people come from surrounding islands and plan their vacations around this giant celebration held on the beach surrounding the shack.

I had been hearing about this amazing party and couldn’t wait until the next full moon here. I heard everyone trips on magic mushrooms at these parties. As a child, growing up in San Francisco and Morocco with alternative parents, I had heard about hallucinogenic magic mushrooms. Eddie told me that they grow from cow patties, but when we walked up to the pasture on the hill, we came up empty handed. Eddie explained that they grow in the same place, from the same patty, if the weather is moist. He showed me the poisonous mushroom that we should avoid.

I wasn’t in the mood for a wild party like in NYC, but I did not know what I was in for. People came from all walks of life – old, young, rich, bohemian, locals, travelers and the atmosphere couldn’t have been better! it happens every Full Moon – this felt special, as if it were a genuine happening that people speak of like Woodstock. I find it extraordinary that on this one night, at this one humble place, hundreds of people gather with no boundaries.

New friends we made, Andy and Theo had picked some of their own magic mushrooms and offered some to Eddie and I. Eddie decided to refrain and be our chaperone, but I decided to have an experience.

Eddie danced for hours to the steel drum orchestra – complete with 4 sopranos, 4 altos, 4 tenors, 4 baritones and 4 base steel drums. They also had congas and other drums in this enormous group that you would imagine sounding cacophonous, but was the most beautiful sounding ensemble!  We all roared with laughter, finding it the most absurd image when the band packed up a small truck with all these drums. Knowing the steep hills this truck would climb with the instruments, we amused ourselves thinking of the sound they would make as they tumbled out of the truck down the hills of Tortola.

As I got higher from the mushrooms, the night felt like I was in Jack Kerouac novel. I felt connected to him in a way that my life was in actuality just like his. Everything in my life was a stream of consciousness and rambling perfection. I had long admired him, but now realized there it was simply a matter of perspective that the mushrooms were giving me.

Eddie and I took a walk alone down the beach and shared some very intimate moments. We laughed and just enjoyed the closeness. As we passed by Sebastians Hotel, He said, “ I am falling in love with you all over again. I knew what he meant because I feel the same way with him. Our relationship inhabits many realms and this one is this innocent, young love in which we fall in love all over again and again. We were hugging and loving eachother when we felt another presence with us. We looked down to see the sweetest old dog. This dog was really old and the wisdom and charisma of a guru.  We spent so much time with him proclaiming our love for him.

We finished the night, which was now dawn with a swim. We giggled until we couldn’t breathe. As I went to sleep, I wished that the knowledge I experienced this night about love, magic and happiness would shine a light on the rest of my days. It was such a wonderful night, but I didn’t want to remember this simple as a happy trip. It was a great night!

The driftwood shack has signs painted by a man named “Bomba”. The signs are how to have a good time at the full moon. People leave personal belongings as momentos. It is thoroughly charming. People line the shack eating barbecue and the entire beach that surrounds it.  Psychedelic mushrooms are only illegal when sold in Tortola, but vendors with trays of mushrooms calling out like a ballpark vendor, “mushrooms!” It is, however, not illegal to imbibe magic mushrooms!

 

 

 

Thoreau

Thoreau has been my hero and my inspiration for this experiential journey into nature I am on. When he went to Walden Pond for two years, he wrote a book, which would eventually become his philosophies, his own guidebook to life. That is what I want for myself.  His journey into Walden Pond was a journey into his spirit. His comments about society and nature as just as relevant now as they were then, though so much has changed since then: automobiles, plastic, television, telephone, airplanes, rocketships, computers, refrigeration. Those previous items are not destroying the planet per se, but rather the insatiable desire human beings have for comfort.  Our desire for comfort has moved us further away from nature. We have removed most of our natural predators and those annoying bugs. Most people now live in an urban setting.

The human race has never been more interconnected in all of its history. Our communication runs at a rapid speed and we know what is happening around the globe at all times. Its potential is phenomenal.  However, we have never been more disconnected with nature, most people living in an urban setting. Every aspect of life on this planet is profoundly altered by the way our culture has organized its business of its existence.

Feeling frustrated, helpless and confused on exactly how to live my life by my philosophies (most of which are being discovered now) in a culture where every action seems to support the destruction of the Earth, I sought refuge, clarity and answers by living thorough in harmony with nature. Fortunately, I will have many more days and nights here to experience nature’s lessons that will lead to some answers. I want enough answers to get some direction on how to proceed in this world, as we know it. I am lost.

I still want to be a part of society because I love humanity! I know I still have a lot to learn from people, therefore I do not desire to live out all my days of my life here on this island. At the moment however, I do not know how I would live once I return to the civilization.

It seems as if the damage done to the planet has already gone too far and there is no turning back time. The rainforest are disappearing and soon we won’t believe be able to breathe. The landfills are filled with garbage that may never biodegrade.  People are now attempting to recycle their bottles and cans, though large companies neglect their own responsibility of using recycled materials.  On cans of coke, it says, “Please recycle” as if it is the consumer’s responsibility, as if we have the capabilities of melting glass and aluminum in our kitchens, next to our toaster and coffee makers. They killed the electric car and we are using up our oil so fast, soon we will run out and not be able to fly anywhere anymore.

So what is my responsibility? Do I continue to live in harmony with nature, as just one person in a sea of pollution, but living according to my philosophies? Or do I volunteer and dedicate my life to organizations that work to change the direction of the destruction? Or has it gone too far and should I just enjoy my life? Human’s inner-spirit must change in order to have a profound affect on their behavior towards the earth. Do I pray for change? Do I do it all, or I do I do none? Will we just end up like the dinosaurs, our death a mystery to future forms of existence? Or will we completely annihilate the planet and energies will become some other realm? Or will us humans over come this spiritual darkness to save the planet only to read about this time in history as the most important war ever fought? Not for country’s territories or religion, but the war to save the planet? I pray for the latter comment and the wisdom to accept all the different possibilities of perfection.

All these questions have been on my mind for quite some time, long before this journey into nature was a concept, but have consumed my thoughts today. Eddie and I discussed the omnipresent earth crisis. Over population and the earth seems to be headed towards some drastic change. He talked about some theories of politics being evil, but I believe that another human may be able to hurt my body and heart, but never has the capability of touching my soul. For these reasons and many others, I would like to start my own tribe, dedicated to peace and to the earth. I know from my childhood that communal living has many obstacles, but I am still idealistic in the concept of finding a secluded piece of land to live according the groups political and spiritual philosophies.

Eddie and I discussed these dreams of mine and he is interested, but he, “has something he needs to produce”. I must respect his desires, though it is difficult because we are at different places. He desires R&R before he begins a project back in NYC. I am here to explore further and further into myself, and the NYC me has become a blurry remembrance of an old me. I love him, no matter what he does for a living, but I certainly wish he had different goals.

Whilst I contemplate the salvation of mother Gaia and my responsibility, asking the universe for answers and exploring the possibility of developing a new society, Eddie also ponders.  He keeps in touch with his contacts in NYC through a phone at the main camp and involves many large corporations. It is becoming more of a reality and one of the large corporations involved is Mitsubishi. It is flattering and exciting for Eddie, but bewildering to me because the company is the single largest loggers of the Brazilian Rainforest. Eddie doesn’t feel he has the power to eliminate such an economical possibility at this point in his career. I feel that human’s cannot wait until they are in the perceived position to make a difference. You must follow your beliefs NOW!

Although no decisions needed to be made today, the possibility of needing to make this decision weighed heavily on Eddie. I cannot force my beliefs onto him. I want to guide, but never force. I realize it is tough for him and I was compassionate.

Creativity

Feeling somewhat settled in my home, I ventured off to live one of my fantasies and play my saxophone on the beach. Playing the saxophone is one of the things I can say I purely enjoy, but then again, I enjoy so many things. This is so true, that often people tell me that what is holding me back from succeeding. I have so many opinions about success; success according to others and success according to me. My personal philosophy on success is surmised in Jackie Robinson’s famous quote, “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”

I have never been more confused about my career than I am right now. I was always ambitious, but giving up my profession to live here has given me the feeling of freedom too good to not acknowledge as a good thing. My desire to succeed– and I use that term just how the dictionary defines it: 1) achieve attention 2) gain fame, wealth or power 3) make significant progress was so overbearing for most of my life that I believe it clouded my capability for any real joy for what I was doing. I gave up a potential acting career, with a high-powered agent, jobs and connections to come down here. I took myself off the track. I couldn’t be more thrilled. My attraction to acting was so convoluted with feelings of wanting to prove to the whole world that I was ok. Once I began to address these issues of inadequacy, acting was no longer enough. Of course, there wasn’t all bad memories and what I learned as a creative person, I can apply to any art form from music, to dancing to writing.

I know that now I despise acting and am ashamed to say that once I as part of a group that are so riddled with insecurities that they endure great hardships just to prove how wonderful they are. I suppose not everyone is exactly like me and did not have the same motives in acting.

I also know that if I chose, I find my description of success in anything I chose. Everyone can.

Saxophone brings me great joy. It was destiny that I play it from the minute I was given the sax after my other friend Eddie said I could be in his surf band if I learn to play the sax. I was playing by that Friday night! It was magical and makes me feel magical, but does it have to be more than that? Does it need to be my career? Should we hold up anything that we have a gift or love for as our way to make a living? Isn’t it enough to be able to do what we like to do?

I played my saxophone at the other end of the beach and enjoyed myself immeasurably.

Water Baby

I am a water baby, not by definition, but by spirit.  I wasn’t born into the water, though I believe in the benefits of water birth. I did swim before I walked and my first word that I spoke was, “wa-wader”. People either feel comfortable and at home in the water or uncomfortable or downright frightened of the water. I NEED it. I have always been a swimmer and even competed for a time. I have surfed, water-skied, scuba-dived, sailed, rowed, river rafted. You name it, if it’s in the water, I have either done it, or would. I would sail to Tahiti on a cupcake.

I never felt comfortable competing or even counting laps. Swimming is my form of meditation and nourishment for my soul. I feel like I am once again the womb and able to nurture myself maternally as I wasn’t efficiently cared for as a child.  The ocean in particular is a source of energy of a magnitude almost incomprehensible to me, providing me with enlightenment, sustenance, and strength.  Just to be near the source, hearing its rhythmic pulse of the waves is necessary to my soul. To immerse myself in water is submerging my body, my mind and my spirit is going home.

I haven’t truly swum since I have been here. Of course, I have been in the ocean, everyday, several times. I’ve snorkeled, cleansed, surfed and played in the ocean, but I haven’t swum for miles on end. Not a black line to follow like the pools in NYC, but a live coral reef to watch as I swam from one side of the bay to the next. Needless, to say, it was the most extraordinary swim, feeling a part of the underwater world. 

Living in a Tree

We have now made a new home in a treehouse in Brewer’s Bay. Although someone originally built this sweet home in an almond tree, we are going to add to it to make it feel like our home. The pathway is severely overgrown, since the original occupant moved out long ago. It has so much lush foliage surrounding it that it is completely hidden from any other camp on the grounds.  I must admit that (since I was so attached to Rogue’s Bay) it is thoroughly enchanting. So much so that we have named it the Enchanted Jungle.  It is only moments from the sandy beach and warm aqua colored ocean, but has a jungle environment. There are many banana, papayas, coconuts and even avocado trees at our ‘doorstep’. It feels so different to be elevated with my feet dangling over the edge of our ‘porch’ just outside the tent. The perspective is that of another tree and feeling the leafy branches blow around with the trade winds is one of the magical feelings I have ever experienced. One I would not have chosen to sacrifice to live again in Rogue’s Bay.

There were many blessings during our grace before our meal tonight. Even though I have been a vegetarian as long as I could make the decision, I believe in the Native American Indian philosophies of hunting. They do not kill animals gratuitously and they take on the energy of the animal they killed. They kill responsibly.  I will eat meat if it is done this way. Eddie had caught his first fish since we arrived. He had been out spear fishing many times, but could not catch a fish until today. It was a beautiful Rock Hind and he prayed and gave thanks to one of his brothers who gave his life to nourish our bodies. It was a beautiful experience.

Treehouse

I say with mixed emotions that I will be moving again. Most probable we will move into a treehouse that someone built at Brewer’s Bay. I am becoming conscious that as I search for a home in the Caribbean for my experiment, that wherever I am home. I was very attached to Rogue’s Bay and the concept of living there. Because of its beauty and isolation, it represented the idea I had after reading Walden.  However, it really is just an attachment not necessarily true or based in reality. I could be justifying the fact that I am giving up my dream and that is depressing. Unknown.

As fond of as I am about the finer things in life, I always feel relieved when my favorite possessions are lost or stolen. I no longer need that attachment that begins to burden me. I have many belongings still in San Francisco and New York City. It is liberating to have just a few items with me right now.  How nice to be a gypsy, traveling from place to place with what I can carry on my back.  Settling down for the comfort of security sounds like such a compromise that it borders on subjugation. Actually how many belongings would a person truly possess if they had to literally carry them on their back everyday? The more personal effects a person owns, the heavier the burden is. Even if you don’t actually carry them on your back, there is the encumbrance of protecting them from being stolen or time spent cleaning them. We gather and hoard our “treasures” when the most magnificent treasures could never be owned or gathered.

There was an awesome storm today, forcing us to look up into the sky filled with lightening. Look and listened we did. It was the beginning of a hurricane. Combined with the fact that the motor on our boat was not working and the severity of the storm, we were kept at Brewer’s Bay all day and possibly for another day and night. We were not expecting this naturally, how could we? We only have a few belongings with us and all of our possessions are improperly stored at Rogue’s Bay for rain. Momentarily, I worried about my stuff being blown away or destroyed.  I judged myself for having this feeling, for although our property is precious to us, we really didn’t need them. Ultimately, there are no material creations that are essential to my existence.

After I pondered possessions, I decided to cheer Mother Nature on. I ran onto the beach in the rain. I told her to speak with her brilliance, that I am listening to what she has to say. I wanted to see her growth and power. I said aloud, “ show me your magnificence, my eyes are open to see.” I was ready to understand her mysterious ways. I surrendered to the path that was being laid out for me. I was finished with fighting.