Passport

Love might have made me scared, but I am a strong and brave girl. Eddie doesn’t hold the keys to my dreams and I am not going to let him prevent me from staying on this island. My challenge has evolved from searching for the right bay to live with Eddie to not being deported back to Eddie.

I told Isaiah this morning that I wanted to work this weekend at the Farmer’s Market and make as much money as I could. I also said I wanted to go earlier to the US Embassy and find out about getting a new passport. I am ready to face my fears of authority and become legal.

I didn’t come to this island to become negligent. I just thought I had already dealt with the red tape before I left. I thought that I would come to this island to have my Walden. And I am. It just doesn’t look how I expected. It never does.

It’s been hard lately. I am resisting the lessons that I am given. I want to be spending my time learning from nature. I have to accept that these challenges are teaching me what I need to discover. Most importantly, I need to stop opposing that they are being presented in exactly the way I need to realize them. Just because it’s not in a waterfall under a rainbow, doesn’t mean it isn’t spiritual.

I am now fighting just to stay here. I am getting to the core of my desires of what I am willing to fight for. Back in NYC, I thought I would be on a beach pondering my philosophies. How different this entire adventure has been in actuality compared with what I anticipated. My beliefs have been shaped here by experiences and challenges faced. Its more raw than I originally anticipated and certainly less intellectual. The end result is that my beliefs and philosophies of life are rooted deep within. They are unwavering and known by my entire being, not just my head.